The Power of Story Telling: Naomi's Experience

As part of Student Minds' Power of Story Telling Campaign, Naomi writes about her experiences in coping with bereavement 

-Naomi Barrow 

Hi, I'm Naomi. I grew up in Leeds with my parents and two brothers and now frequently go back to visit my Dad and brothers and bake enough to feed a small army for a week! I live in York and am passionate about volunteering and getting young people involved in their communities. My mum had terminal cancer and died in October 2015. I feel that as a society, we don't talk enough about the effects of cancer on others in the family, or what cancer is really like, particularly for young people. This is why I have decided to blog about it on my personal blog adaughtersdiary.co.uk. I also write for the Huffington Post, you can see my profile and the work I do here.  

What inspired you to share your story?

I first started writing about Mum’s illness (and then her death) because it was cathartic for me. It helped me to get everything in my head out onto a piece of paper (or a screen). I posted them because it felt easier to update my friends that way then by telling them all individually. Soon after I started writing, though, other people began to show interest in my posts, and I realised that my blog was encouraging conversations, real conversations, about terminal illness and death. I began to realise how important it was to keep writing, keep sharing, and keep encouraging others to do the same.

Has telling your story helped you?

Yes it has! I’ve found great comfort in the response I’ve received – others responding to my posts and sharing bits of their stories with me has helped me to feel less alone and less ‘abnormal’. It’s also been helpful when my brain has felt like a foggy fuzz – writing can help me to tease things out and make sense of it all.

Has telling your story helped anyone else?

I hope so. I really hope that others in a similar situation read it and feel less alone. I hope it helps them to find the words to speak to their family and friends. But I also hope it helps those with no experience of death or terminal illness to try and understand what it might be like to be in that situation. I hope it helps them to then help others they know who might be experiencing a terminal illness or death in the family.

What did you find hardest about sharing your story?

It can be really hard to find the words sometimes. There are times when my head feels so foggy and full and I can struggle to find any words. Even if I can find some words, sometimes no words seem to match my feelings and that can be incredibly frustrating! There are occasions when I fear being judged, sometimes I want to slightly sugar-coat the reality and not share the ‘bad’ bits, but life isn’t like that and I think it’s important to share the good and the bad, there is no point in sharing a highly-edited, rose-tinted reality, because that’s not real.

  

Do you have any advice for anyone coping with bereavement?

I’m not sure I have any great advice other than remembering that everyone copes differently! For me, it was really helpful to have people around me to talk things through and to do fun things with. But my brothers and Dad coped in different ways. I think it’s just important to be kind to yourself and cut yourself some slack!

Are you interested in getting involved in the Power of Story Telling Blog series? Please don't hesitate to get in touch at blog@studentminds.org

The Power of Storytelling: Kelly's Story

My name is Kelly Bishop, I’m 23 years old, and I live in New York. I currently write for 6 different online publications and am continuing to grow my online writing profile. In this specific blog, everything I write about is autobiographical, from my struggle with depression to funny experiences in my life. I turn to this blog in hope to both entertain people and help them recognize and cope with their own problems.   

Blog: http://thoughtcatalog.com/kelly-bishop/

What inspired you to share your story?

Writing is the vehicle I have always used to express myself. I can struggle opening up to people and being vulnerable, but I find it much easier to be when I can make sense of my thoughts and feelings and put it into words on paper. I already journaled regularly about how I felt and what I was going through, so it finally made sense to turn those struggles into relatable articles online. 

Has telling your story helped you?

Telling my story definitely helped me because it was such a satisfying release; I finally was putting down all of these feelings that I’ve been pushing to the back of my mind. It was a cathartic experience to write focusing solely on myself. It gave me the confidence to continue writing and addressing the topic of mental health in general. And by doing so, I got to understand myself more and was able to actually make sense of how I felt. 

Has telling your story helped anyone else?

Since starting to write about my own personal issues and mental health issues, I have received so much positive feedback. I get so many comments and emails from readers who thank me because they feel like they finally have someone to relate to. They discover that they aren’t actually alone with their problems, and they are happy that someone can articulate what they never could. Writing helps connect you to other people; it helps us all relate to each other and find comfort in each other’s words. 

What did you find hardest about sharing your story?

Naturally it was a bit difficult to open up and expose a sensitive side of myself, especially when people I didn’t even know would read it. I didn’t want to be judged or perceived a certain way, so it was scary in the beginning. I didn’t know if it an article discussing my own depression was worth putting online. But once I did it, it was extremely empowering to put myself out there for all to see. Once I began to receive feedback about how grateful people were that I shared, it got easier and easier. I wasn’t only instilling confidence in myself, but I was helping other readers as well. 

Do you have any advice for someone who is thinking of sharing their story?

Do it!! People don’t realize how effective writing can be for your peace of mind. Even if you journal about something and don’t show anyone, it still is important to get out how you feel, what you’re thinking. Through writing, you can work through your problems, express yourself in a non-intimidating way, and the best part is that people might relate and feel that much better about their own problems. 
Your confidence will escalate once you realize other people are on the exact same page as you, and you’ll see how important it is for you to share your story with yourself and others.

The Power of Storytelling: Seb's Experience

Seb writes about his experiences with depression and anxiety for our Power of Storytelling campaign.

My name is Seb Baird, and I am a mental health campaigner and digital comms professional. I currently work for the national mental health campaign Time to Change; while I was a student at Oxford I founded the University’s Mind Your Head campaign. I am also a trustee and volunteer for Student Minds. My story was first published published here. 

What inspired you to tell your story?

I experienced depression and anxiety periodically during my degree. I was afraid for most of my first year that I was going to fail my course, and the anxiety around my studies dominated my life, making it hard to sleep, relax or have a real social life. During my second year I experienced a depressive episode, which again made it difficult to function: everything slowed down, I found it hard to work, and isolated myself away from my friends. 

As I started to tell my close friends about what I had gone through, it became clear that many of them had experienced similar things. It was obvious that being a young adult in a high-pressure environment like Oxford made us all vulnerable to mental health problems, but there was still an enormous taboo around it: none of us felt comfortable having the label of ‘depression’ or ‘anxiety’ attached to our public identities. I told my story to try and change that, and set up Mind Your Head to help other people to tell their stories too - to show that experiencing mental illness is nothing to be ashamed of. 

Has telling your story helped you?

Yes, in a couple of ways. Firstly, I think speaking out about your own mental health has allowed me to put it in better perspective; the more I talk about it - whether publicly or privately - the better I understand my mind and the better I get at managing my mental health. Secondly, being honest about my mental health has helped me to develop stronger relationships with the people around me. Having been honest with them about what I’m going through, I think I’m able to connect with my friends in a more genuine way.

Has telling your story helped others?

I don’t want to be presumptuous, but I think it has. I remember, the day my story was first published online, an overwhelming number of people messaged me to tell me about their similar experiences. And just recently, five years after it was first published, another friend wrote to say she identified with a lot of what I went through, and was glad to hear that it wasn’t just her. In my experience, sharing my story has helped people in a similar situation to know that they are not alone, and it has helped give them permission to talk about what they’ve gone through, even if they don’t do it publicly. 

What did you find hardest about telling your story?

I don’t love the spotlight, so it was difficult at first to come to terms with the self-promotion involved in telling my story. I was worried that people might think I was attention-seeking, or bragging, for being public about my mental health problems. And maybe some people do think that! But I probably don’t want to be friends with those people, and I realised quite quickly that the positives of telling my story - giving people hope, a sense of community, and permission to talk - were more than worth any risks. 

Do you have any advice for anyone who’s thinking of sharing their story?

There are a couple of things to think about:

• Are you ready for a lot of feedback? In my case, almost all of the responses I got were positive, or empathetic, but even those can be hard to deal with if you’re not used to being the centre of attention! 
• Are you ready to listen to others? Speaking out about your experience will probably mean that some of your friends/network who are currently experiencing mental health problems will reach out to you for support. You should be prepared for that to happen. 
• Are you prepared for the long-term? I shared my story online, so when you search my name the first things that come up are all about my mental health problems. I thought long and hard about that, and I’m okay with it, but you need to be aware that some of these things might never go away. 

Are you interested in getting involved in The Power of Story Telling Blog series? Please don’t hesitate to get in touch blog@studentminds.org

The Power of Storytelling: Keir's Experience

Keir (@Keir_M_Heath), for the blog lifeafterandlessonsdepression.blogspot.co.uk, writes about his experiences with depression for our Power of Storytelling campaign

Depression can strike at any time, as I found out at 16 and a half. Years after my recovery, I began to write about my experiences over those difficult months. Now, President of Student Minds at Cambridge, I want to talk about why I write and what I hope to achieve.

What inspired you to share your story?

For a long time after I had recovered, I wanted to speak out about my experiences, and give my opinions on the matter of mental health but it was a speaker event I attended which prompted me to start. I wanted to explain what it felt like to suffer from depression, to help other people to have the confidence to speak out themselves and to explain the opinions that I hold.

Has telling your story helped you?

Yes it has. Instantly, I received a huge number of messages from friends, and some other people, which I didn’t expect, telling me how brave I was and how important the message was. Wider impacts of my blogging became apparent when people began to approach me to share their own experiences. The major lasting effects have been on my activism. As a result of speaking out, I believe that I have been able to make a real impact in encouraging discussion and action on mental health.

Has telling your story helped anyone else?

As mentioned above, people have approached me to discuss not only my experiences but theirs. Additionally, I think that knowing I that  that I would not judge other people meant that they were much more willing to ask for advice and signposting, either for themselves or their friends.

What did you find hardest about sharing your story?

Mental illness is always a very personal story and while I have become very comfortable in sharing my stories, others are not. When my stories have involved my parents, friends or even lovers it becomes very difficult. Wanting to be honest and tell of my experiences must compete with protecting others’ right to privacy.

Do you have any advice for someone who is thinking of sharing their story?

Just go for it. Don’t share immediately but read it through a couple of times until you’re happy and comfortable. I have never met anything but kindness and support from the people I write for.

Finally I will just say that sharing your story may be one of the most powerful and important things you can do. I speak because I have the confidence, and an ego which likes to be heard, in the hope that others will feel able to speak themselves or just ask and receive the help that they need.

Are you interested in getting involved in The Power of Story Telling Blog series? Please don’t hesitate to get in touch blog@studentminds.org

The Power of Storytelling: Hannah G's Experience

Hannah Graham (@possiblyvintage), for the blog www.possiblyvintage.com shares her story

Hi I’m Hannah. I live in York with my husband and our cat Oscar. I started my Possibly Vintage blog as a creative outlet and somewhere to share my thoughts and opinions. I post about everything from fitness goals and healthy recipes, to product reviews and caring for your mental health. My little slice of the internet is dedicated to finding happiness in the mundane and enjoying the things we take for granted.

What inspired you to share your story?

When I first got ill I was a young teenager. Out of shame and embarrassment I tried to keep my illness a secret from my classmates and teachers, in fact, anyone who wasn’t a close friend. However, if you’ve experienced severe depression you’ll know that’s really not possible. I learnt the hard way that keeping things hidden isn’t possible and ultimately makes us feel worse about our issues. Since I came to that realisation, I’ve been as open and honest about everything as I can be.

Has telling your story helped you?

I don’t think that anyone but my family, closest friends and husband know the full story in all its detail, and there are some instances where I have completely blocked out all memories, but I believe sharing my experiences has helped me massively. Not only has it allowed me to understand what I have been through, but it also helps me work through ongoing issues and get my thoughts and feelings straight for myself.

Has telling your story helped anyone else?

I can’t say definitively. I would like to think so, in fact I hope so but I have no proof. It has made understanding my illness a lot easier for my husband and close friends – I guess that counts.

What did you find hardest about telling your story?

Nothing. What has happened has happened. I can’t change it and nor would I. It has made me who I am today. I tried hard to keep secrets but had them pried from me before being disowned and judged by everyone except my family and close friends. Since then I have been open about all my experiences when asked.

Do you have any advice to anyone thinking about sharing their story?

I think you’ll be surprised about how therapeutic sharing your story is, and you’ll realise that you’re not alone; there are a lot of people that have been through similar issues and are there to comfort and support you.

Should I tell my employers about my mental health issues?

I have experienced a lot of trepidation about disclosing my mental health issues to my employers and have kept it from them in the past. I have lived with depression for well over 10 years and have managed it very easily (give or take a few serious bouts) which has meant that I haven’t felt the need to notify my employers. Recently I have had a more serious lapse during which I have mentioned my issues to my employer who has been incredibly supportive. In short, I would say you may be surprised by their reaction.

Are you interested in getting involved in The Power of Story Telling Blog series? Please don’t hesitate to get in touch blog@studentminds.org

The Power of Story Telling: Hannah's Experience

Hannah Rainey has written for Student Minds 'Power of Story Telling' campaign with her own experience of sharing her story.

Hello! I'm Hannah, and I'm currently working in Marketing. I'm 20 years old, and started my blog in December 2015. Having suffered with anxiety and depression, mental health is a subject close to my heart and therefore one of the main categories on my blog. I feel very strongly about eliminating the stigma surrounding mental health and want to do as much as I can to help other people with a mental illness. http://littlethoughtsblog.com/

What inspired you to share your story?

To help other people. If I can help even just one person, I will be happy. I know how tough it is, and I know that when I was really suffering, I didn't always know where to look for help and support. For that reason, I want to provide that help and support for people who need it. Another main reason is to reduce stigma - I think a lot of the stigma surrounding mental illness comes down to lack of education, and people just don't talk about it enough. It needs to be recognised and spoken about - so that's what I'm doing.

Has telling your story helped you?

On the whole definitely yes. It wasn't easy by any means, but that's why I blog. I find that blogging about my experiences is much easier for me - when I write I am able to get more out. When writing one particular post, I sobbed the whole time. I just couldn't stop crying whilst writing it. But as soon as I'd finished, the most enormous weight was lifted. Also, the level of support in the blogging community is absolutely crazy. There are so many mental health blogs out there that really help me to understand that I'm not on my own or abnormal - mental illness really is common - and different people have different tips and advice.

Has telling your story helped anyone else?

I guess it's hard to say for certain, but I had some really positive comments on two of my posts. One gave tips on coping with anxiety, and the other an open letter to the person who stood by me through depression. People commented saying that they found my blog really inspiring, the tips were really useful, and I'd given them hope. To me, that's why sharing my story is so important. It fills me with joy to know that I have given somebody hope that it will get better. Hope is vital.

What did you find hardest about sharing your story?

Looking back on my experience, and realisation of what I've been through. Remembering what it was like, the things I was thinking. I absolutely cannot bare the thought of somebody else going through that. I found it really, really tough to look back on myself at that time, because I wasn't myself. I was a different person. This is particularly hard for me because I desperately miss the person I was before mental illness. So right now, I'm working on getting that person back.

Do you have any advice for someone who is thinking of sharing their story?

I would definitely recommend it, but only when you are ready. As I said, it's very difficult to look back on yourself. Even now I find it heartbreaking to acknowledge what I was feeling and even more so, what I was thinking. You absolutely have to be ready. Look back on yourself yes, with sadness at what you went through, but with hope and strength for the future. You will know when that time is. 

Why do you think it's important for people to share their story?

I think that feeling isolated is one of the most horrific things about mental illness, and all the time people are sharing their stories and putting them out there, we can reduce that isolation. I also think that getting our stories out there almost creates this 'army' of incredibly strong people who have beaten some serious challenges. That 'army' in itself provides hope that things can change and that there really is that 'light at the end of the tunnel.' Hope is what kept me going. We absolutely need to end the stigma surrounding mental illness and all the time people share their experiences we are slowly doing that. We must keep going and keep campaigning.

Are you interested in getting involved in The Power Of Story Telling Blog series? Please dont hesitate to get in touch blog@studentminds.org

The Power of Story Telling: Megan's Experience

Megan has written for Student Minds 'Power of Story Telling' campaign using her own experiences to share her story.

Hello, my name is Megan and am a senior in college studying communications and hoping to work in the Mental Health field. I am a member and co-leader of Team Not Ashamed, a movement started by Rachel Griffen. The movement is to help others with their mental illness and all six girls that I run it with have suffered from some form of mental illness or another. I have been diagnosed with general anxiety disorder and have suffered depression in the past. Other than that, I work part time and spend my free time lifting weights, reading, writing, and trying to new things.

What inspired you to share your story?

I had been vocal about my battles with mental illness and finally started thinking about creating a blog for myself as an outlet. I shared my story on my WordPress and from there it grew. 

Has telling your story helped you?

It has defiantly. I am able to share my thoughts and feelings into a space where I can vent my frustrations but also help others. It has helped accept my anxiety and depression which was very hard for me to accept. 

Has telling your story helped anyone else?

Yes it has. Numerous friends of mine or high school friends have approached me talking about their struggles with mental illness. I joined Twitter around Jan of 2016 and started to channel my voice there and soon became involved with Team Not Ashamed. I began blogging more and I was getting positive feedback from so many people. I want to be the voice for others, those that are afraid to speak up about their mental illness. I believe mental illness is very important but society doesn’t see it so and looks at it like a stigma. I want to be get rid of that stigma. 

What did you find hardest about sharing your story?

I think the most daunting thing about sharing my story was being open to millions of people who view or had viewed my blog. But at the same time, I thought about the many people that I could help by sharing my story and that outweighed the apprehension of sharing it. 

Do you have any advice for someone who is thinking of sharing their story?

It is daunting but don’t be afraid. You’ll never realize the impact your voice and story could have on someone. I know it’s scary but it’s worth it. Take that chance and make your voice heard.

Are you interested in getting involved in The Power Of Story Telling Blog series? Please dont hesitate to get in touch blog@studentminds.org

The Power of Story Telling: Nicole's Experience

Nicole has written for Student Minds 'Power of Story Telling' campaign using her own experiences to share her story.

Hello everyone! My name is Nicole Campbell (aka @soupernic) and I am a mental health advocate from Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania in the United States. I am a public health student and my specialisation is Health Education and Promotion, so I can spread mental health awareness on a larger scale. I started my blog, Souper Mental, this year to write about my experiences living with Generalised Anxiety Disorder and Major Depressive Disorder, as well as mental health issues such as the impact of language that stigmatises mental illnesses.  I am also a public speaker for my local branch of a national mental health organization, have written for several mental health websites, and am one of the co-leaders for Team Not Ashamed-the #imnotashamed movement. ­I love pretty much anything mental health-related!

What inspired you to share your story?

To be honest, it was a combination of several things. I struggled with mental health stigma for many years because mental health is viewed as a taboo subject in many parts of the world. I thought there was something fundamentally wrong with me for a long time because I didn’t know that all the horrible symptoms I experienced (panic attacks that made me feel like I was dying, depressive episodes that essentially prevented me from functioning, etc.), were the result of treatable conditions. I’ve learned that being honest and transparent about my feelings with psychiatrists and therapists has helped me immensely and allowed me to start my recovery process. Losing the stigma helped me get better treatment. I want to tell my story to encourage people to open up because they shouldn’t have to bear the weight of stigma, and it will allow them to get the help they deserve. Secondly, I didn’t really have anyone who I could relate to and I wanted to be that for others by sharing my story. Furthermore, I found out after I told my family about my diagnoses that I had family members who also experienced mental illness but didn't talk about it. So, I wanted to break the cycle of being silenced by stigma.

Has telling your story helped you?

Absolutely! Every time I put my thoughts into words or speak to an audience, it’s cathartic and reinforces the fact that I’ve been on the right path for recovery. It has been amazing to look back at pieces or speeches I have written because they remind me of how much progress I have made. Telling my story is a form of therapy to me. It has allowed me to meet some amazing people and led me to great opportunities, including writing this post. What has been amazing is how much it has influenced my career choice. I want to become a mental health educator and plan programs for people of all ages to break down the barriers that get in the way of people telling their stories and receiving help. 

Has telling your story helped anyone else?

It has and that is the most amazing part of telling my story. I feel lucky that people read what I write and take in what I say during my speeches. People have written to me about how my story has touched their lives and how they can relate, which is surreal to me as a person who was previously frightened by the idea of people finding out about my struggles. It’s an honor to be that person who starts the conversation for others and I have been privileged enough to be the first person some people have opened up to about their mental health issues. The most important person who opened up to me was my stepdad. He previously wasn’t so understanding towards my struggles when I was younger, but because I am so vocal about my experiences, it gave him the courage to seek help for his severe anxiety and he apologised for not supporting me in the past. We will forever have a special bond because we both understand each others' experiences.

What did you find hardest about telling your story?

The hardest part was accepting that it’s okay to not be okay. Sometimes as a mental health advocate, I feel pressure to be “on” or seem like I’m completely recovered/happy. The fact of living with mental illness is that recovery is not a destination or a linear process, it’s a continuous journey. People respect you more when you’re transparent about your struggles than when to try to paint a perfect picture that’s not genuine. Opening up about how I have bad days helps other people (and me) accept that having a bad day doesn’t negate all the progress made so far. One of my favorite phrases is “It’s a bad day, not a bad life.” I will have bad days and not every post will be 100% positive, but I try to reflect that I still have hope no matter what life throws my way. 

Do you have any advice for someone who is thinking of sharing their story?

Don’t feel pressured to try to compete with other people’s stories. Your story is important and you have a unique perspective on life and mental health. I’m a recovering perfectionist, so I understand the desire to make your story seem “perfect”. Don’t let perfect get in the way of good because perfectionism can prevent you from getting your story out there and prevent you from helping someone. Also, if you’re worried about the ramifications of sharing your story (ie. if it will affect your job, relationships, etc.), you can create an anonymous blog. I know several people with twitter accounts and blogs that don’t display any personal info, but they are still able to openly express themselves. Lastly, sometimes you can help your story have a bigger impact by incorporating mental health statistics. Your story can make mental health issues feel more personal, and the statistics can help people see the bigger picture.

Why do you think it’s important for people to share their story?

Sharing your story gives you the ability to put your experiences out there. It’s a great way to reflect on what you have gone through and lose whatever stigmatising feelings you have. Everyone’s story is important. Mental illness doesn’t discriminate, so when people of different races, genders, cultures, etc. share their experiences, barriers are broken down. People are more likely to seek help if they see stories written by people like them who have gone through similar situations, and have been helped. I know hearing about people around my age and celebrities talk about their mental illnesses (such as Demi Lovato), helped make me less ashamed about my experiences. Everyone with mental health issues deserves to live without stigma and for every story shared, another battle against stigma is won.

Are you interested in getting involved in The Power Of Story Telling Blog series? Please dont hesitate to get in touch blog@studentminds.org