The Power of Storytelling: Kelly's Story

My name is Kelly Bishop, I’m 23 years old, and I live in New York. I currently write for 6 different online publications and am continuing to grow my online writing profile. In this specific blog, everything I write about is autobiographical, from my struggle with depression to funny experiences in my life. I turn to this blog in hope to both entertain people and help them recognize and cope with their own problems.   

Blog: http://thoughtcatalog.com/kelly-bishop/

What inspired you to share your story?

Writing is the vehicle I have always used to express myself. I can struggle opening up to people and being vulnerable, but I find it much easier to be when I can make sense of my thoughts and feelings and put it into words on paper. I already journaled regularly about how I felt and what I was going through, so it finally made sense to turn those struggles into relatable articles online. 

Has telling your story helped you?

Telling my story definitely helped me because it was such a satisfying release; I finally was putting down all of these feelings that I’ve been pushing to the back of my mind. It was a cathartic experience to write focusing solely on myself. It gave me the confidence to continue writing and addressing the topic of mental health in general. And by doing so, I got to understand myself more and was able to actually make sense of how I felt. 

Has telling your story helped anyone else?

Since starting to write about my own personal issues and mental health issues, I have received so much positive feedback. I get so many comments and emails from readers who thank me because they feel like they finally have someone to relate to. They discover that they aren’t actually alone with their problems, and they are happy that someone can articulate what they never could. Writing helps connect you to other people; it helps us all relate to each other and find comfort in each other’s words. 

What did you find hardest about sharing your story?

Naturally it was a bit difficult to open up and expose a sensitive side of myself, especially when people I didn’t even know would read it. I didn’t want to be judged or perceived a certain way, so it was scary in the beginning. I didn’t know if it an article discussing my own depression was worth putting online. But once I did it, it was extremely empowering to put myself out there for all to see. Once I began to receive feedback about how grateful people were that I shared, it got easier and easier. I wasn’t only instilling confidence in myself, but I was helping other readers as well. 

Do you have any advice for someone who is thinking of sharing their story?

Do it!! People don’t realize how effective writing can be for your peace of mind. Even if you journal about something and don’t show anyone, it still is important to get out how you feel, what you’re thinking. Through writing, you can work through your problems, express yourself in a non-intimidating way, and the best part is that people might relate and feel that much better about their own problems. 
Your confidence will escalate once you realize other people are on the exact same page as you, and you’ll see how important it is for you to share your story with yourself and others.

MHAW: The Power of Friendship

Friendship is an important part of life; Grace and Lottie write about the reasons why friendship is particularly powerful as part of Mental Health Awareness Week

-Grace and Lottie

This week marks Mental Health Awareness Week. It is estimated that 1 in 4 people in England will experience a mental health problem in any given year, which is why it is so important to recognise your own symptoms and those symptoms in those closest to you.  In terms of the student population 92% of students have identified themselves as developing feelings of mental distress (NUS, 2013). This means that at times most of us will need support and a good friend can make the world of difference to many obstacles in life that we all share. Most importantly, when one is beginning to really struggle, a friend can make such a difference. 

Students are most likely to speak to friends when they are experiencing difficulties (Student Minds, 2011). Unfortunately, often people are worried about sharing their mental health problems with friends. There are several reasons for this, including stigma, the fear of being judged, finding the confidence, and the worry of being seen as weak being cited in research. Despite this, students often claim that they want nothing more than to keep in touch with friends and loved ones and be accepted for who they are.  

From a friend’s perspective, it may be hard to approach a friend that appears to be struggling, with students often not knowing what to say, when to say it and how to say it. This often leads to peers saying nothing at all despite wanting to be there for their friends. This highlights that we need to learn how to speak about mental health problems and the fact that starting up a conversation and putting out your hand for a friend regardless of if you know what to say can make all the difference.

People can be very good at hiding their difficulties and shockingly research also found that 1 in 4 people only discovered their friend was having problems when they were eventually admitted to hospital. Perhaps most distressing, was the fact that 1 in 20 were only aware of any problems when their friend had attempted to take their own life. These statistics are harrowing and open up the gateways for the importance of campaigning for and generally being positive and outspoken about the importance of open discussion of mental health and its implications for relationships and support networks. 

Also, understanding that just because you or a friend has a mental health problem or is going through difficulties does not mean that your friendship has to revolve around this, it does not need to be spoken about 24/7 – you can still be silly and do the fun stuff you used to do together. This will help you or your friend more than you think – so go on a relaxing walk, have a sleepover, plan a movie night, cook dinner together, have a cuppa tea – the little things really do make a difference. Perhaps you might find that your friend isn’t up for interactive activities. Ask what they might want at that time, send them a thoughtful text, write them a card or buy them a little gift. Let them know that you are there in times when they don’t feel like talking, and when they do.

Noticing that a friend is in need may be tricky, and even trickier may be attempting to talk to them about it in a supportive, non-patronising and caring manner. As well as this, being able to tell a friend about an issue can be stressful, frightening and may not seem worth it. However, it is important to remember that whichever side of the coin you’re on, it will always be worth it. A friend is one of the best things you can be and one of the most amazing things you can have. Reach out to a friend today and help make a positive change to both of your lives. 

The Power of Storytelling: Seb's Experience

Seb writes about his experiences with depression and anxiety for our Power of Storytelling campaign.

My name is Seb Baird, and I am a mental health campaigner and digital comms professional. I currently work for the national mental health campaign Time to Change; while I was a student at Oxford I founded the University’s Mind Your Head campaign. I am also a trustee and volunteer for Student Minds. My story was first published published here. 

What inspired you to tell your story?

I experienced depression and anxiety periodically during my degree. I was afraid for most of my first year that I was going to fail my course, and the anxiety around my studies dominated my life, making it hard to sleep, relax or have a real social life. During my second year I experienced a depressive episode, which again made it difficult to function: everything slowed down, I found it hard to work, and isolated myself away from my friends. 

As I started to tell my close friends about what I had gone through, it became clear that many of them had experienced similar things. It was obvious that being a young adult in a high-pressure environment like Oxford made us all vulnerable to mental health problems, but there was still an enormous taboo around it: none of us felt comfortable having the label of ‘depression’ or ‘anxiety’ attached to our public identities. I told my story to try and change that, and set up Mind Your Head to help other people to tell their stories too - to show that experiencing mental illness is nothing to be ashamed of. 

Has telling your story helped you?

Yes, in a couple of ways. Firstly, I think speaking out about your own mental health has allowed me to put it in better perspective; the more I talk about it - whether publicly or privately - the better I understand my mind and the better I get at managing my mental health. Secondly, being honest about my mental health has helped me to develop stronger relationships with the people around me. Having been honest with them about what I’m going through, I think I’m able to connect with my friends in a more genuine way.

Has telling your story helped others?

I don’t want to be presumptuous, but I think it has. I remember, the day my story was first published online, an overwhelming number of people messaged me to tell me about their similar experiences. And just recently, five years after it was first published, another friend wrote to say she identified with a lot of what I went through, and was glad to hear that it wasn’t just her. In my experience, sharing my story has helped people in a similar situation to know that they are not alone, and it has helped give them permission to talk about what they’ve gone through, even if they don’t do it publicly. 

What did you find hardest about telling your story?

I don’t love the spotlight, so it was difficult at first to come to terms with the self-promotion involved in telling my story. I was worried that people might think I was attention-seeking, or bragging, for being public about my mental health problems. And maybe some people do think that! But I probably don’t want to be friends with those people, and I realised quite quickly that the positives of telling my story - giving people hope, a sense of community, and permission to talk - were more than worth any risks. 

Do you have any advice for anyone who’s thinking of sharing their story?

There are a couple of things to think about:

• Are you ready for a lot of feedback? In my case, almost all of the responses I got were positive, or empathetic, but even those can be hard to deal with if you’re not used to being the centre of attention! 
• Are you ready to listen to others? Speaking out about your experience will probably mean that some of your friends/network who are currently experiencing mental health problems will reach out to you for support. You should be prepared for that to happen. 
• Are you prepared for the long-term? I shared my story online, so when you search my name the first things that come up are all about my mental health problems. I thought long and hard about that, and I’m okay with it, but you need to be aware that some of these things might never go away. 

Are you interested in getting involved in The Power of Story Telling Blog series? Please don’t hesitate to get in touch blog@studentminds.org

Pursuing a teaching degree from home: How I overcame my anxiety to pursue my dreams

Emily shares her personal experiences and triumphs in choosing to do a degree from home rather than moving away.

-Emily Smale

I have known from a young age that teaching is something that I have wanted to do. However, I struggled with the aspect of attending university. The thought of moving into halls with people I did not know brought on many anxiety attacks. I was content with living in my small hometown with my small group of friends and family. The year before I had set up a youth choir with my best friend, and took on more responsibility at work. I didn’t want to give this up, but I was being constantly plagued by people that my life wouldn’t start until I moved away from home. I didn’t want to disappoint anybody and I so desperately wanted to become a teacher!

I began speaking to a friend of my boyfriends. She told me how she began her training; she started a foundation degree at the college in our hometown, and progressed to Plymouth just for her final year. This sounded perfect and I was so excited that I could get my degree without leaving my home! 

After two years of studying my foundation degree in Early Childhood Studies, third year was looming over our small group and the prospect of having to go to Plymouth. A few of the girls on my course asked me if I wanted to house share with them – but the same anxious thoughts (and physical anxiety effects) stopped me in my tracks. I decided to do the progression route through Flecs (which allowed me to study through Plymouth but do the majority of my studies at home). Little did I know how much I needed other people around me. During the first term of this progression I felt so alone – I was no longer spending all day with my friends at college, and I was now trying to make sense of lectures and dissertation notes on my own at home! This is when I begun to struggle…a lot. Without having a lecturer who I could pull to one side if things were getting tough, or friends who were in the same boat as me resulted in me losing a lot of my confidence.  

I began to feel like I was drowning in pressure from deadlines. I would lie in bed feeling like I was so far behind in my work and worrying about everything I had to get done. There were only a few girls on my course that had progressed with me, and from a distance it looked like they were doing so well. That was, until I decided to reach out, and I messaged my friend. She told me she was feeling the exact same pressure, and after much relief we agreed to meet up as often as we could. Sometimes it was just the two of us and other times, we worked as a larger group. Having people around me and sharing the thoughts and worries I thought I was alone with made it so much easier to get on with. I stopped feeling like I was suffering alone, and I really felt that I could actually get my degree.  

Although this year has been tough (but it’s nearly over!), working with other people has been extremely helpful. I have never regretted my decision to not move away at any point. I still have the university experience (maybe just not as many nights out!) but from my hometown. In September I will begin my PGCE and I couldn’t be prouder of my achievements. Doing a degree is hard enough in itself, let alone tackling the issues of anxiety that can come with it! Voicing my thoughts out loud to somebody who will listen really makes it easier to get through these stressful times! 

The Power of Storytelling: Keir's Experience

Keir (@Keir_M_Heath), for the blog lifeafterandlessonsdepression.blogspot.co.uk, writes about his experiences with depression for our Power of Storytelling campaign

Depression can strike at any time, as I found out at 16 and a half. Years after my recovery, I began to write about my experiences over those difficult months. Now, President of Student Minds at Cambridge, I want to talk about why I write and what I hope to achieve.

What inspired you to share your story?

For a long time after I had recovered, I wanted to speak out about my experiences, and give my opinions on the matter of mental health but it was a speaker event I attended which prompted me to start. I wanted to explain what it felt like to suffer from depression, to help other people to have the confidence to speak out themselves and to explain the opinions that I hold.

Has telling your story helped you?

Yes it has. Instantly, I received a huge number of messages from friends, and some other people, which I didn’t expect, telling me how brave I was and how important the message was. Wider impacts of my blogging became apparent when people began to approach me to share their own experiences. The major lasting effects have been on my activism. As a result of speaking out, I believe that I have been able to make a real impact in encouraging discussion and action on mental health.

Has telling your story helped anyone else?

As mentioned above, people have approached me to discuss not only my experiences but theirs. Additionally, I think that knowing I that  that I would not judge other people meant that they were much more willing to ask for advice and signposting, either for themselves or their friends.

What did you find hardest about sharing your story?

Mental illness is always a very personal story and while I have become very comfortable in sharing my stories, others are not. When my stories have involved my parents, friends or even lovers it becomes very difficult. Wanting to be honest and tell of my experiences must compete with protecting others’ right to privacy.

Do you have any advice for someone who is thinking of sharing their story?

Just go for it. Don’t share immediately but read it through a couple of times until you’re happy and comfortable. I have never met anything but kindness and support from the people I write for.

Finally I will just say that sharing your story may be one of the most powerful and important things you can do. I speak because I have the confidence, and an ego which likes to be heard, in the hope that others will feel able to speak themselves or just ask and receive the help that they need.

Are you interested in getting involved in The Power of Story Telling Blog series? Please don’t hesitate to get in touch blog@studentminds.org